Yes, it is possible to control and master your anger. In your interest, and in the interest of your family, friends, or professional entourage. Here are some tips to achieve this.
Yes, there is anger and anger. Sometimes anger can be useful, not to say necessary, for example when it is intended to protect you from aggression. A female victim of a purse robbery attempt may defeat her attacker by becoming angry, rather than by submitting . In this context, anger is a defense mechanism, classified in the category of mature defense mechanisms.
But very often, anger is only an epidermal, disproportionate reaction to a situation that is altogether banal if we take a step back. It is then triggered by an accumulation of factors, such as fatigue, frustrations or disappointments that have occurred in the previous hours. And all of a sudden, you explode: the famous last straw that broke the camel’s back. It is this anger that we will try to channel.
1. Analyze your anger
To understand how and why you get angry , he first makes you observe yourself. Go back in time: what happened before you exploded? By carrying out this exercise, you will understand the mechanism of the accumulation of separate (or linked) events, which have led to your getting upset, and making you lose all control. Anger is indeed often only the consequence of other events, which your mind and your body will translate into emotions.
2. Detect the warning signs
Thanks to this analysis work, you will be able to detect the signals sent to you by your brain, in order to act before it is too late. Fatigue, sighs, shaking hands, difficulty concentrating, ruminations, desire to do nothing or on the contrary to drop everything. Here are the signals!
3. Act before it’s too late
You have become aware of what puts you in a state conducive to triggering your anger. It is very good ! You have done a lot of the work . The second is not to suffer, but to act. Before anger overwhelms you. For this, there are several strategies.
– If you feel angry, so close to getting angry, but you haven’t exploded yet: e-va-cu-ez! Some therapists explain that it is normal to feel like strangling someone, but since it is forbidden, you have to use subterfuge. One recommends strangling…a cushion! Others, more simply, to type in a punching bag, or in the cushions of a sofa. You will see, it does a lot of good!
– Another, more pragmatic solution: play sports . Yes, any sport, which mobilizes energy, but also releases endorphins in the body, helps to stem your anger.
– Otherwise, there is another technique, also recommended by many therapists: writing. Yes, write about what is causing your anger. Expel on a sheet of paper, a newspaper, in a note on your smartphone, in an email that you will only send to yourself, what is on your heart.
4. Avoid situations that trigger your anger
Now you know how to detect what triggers your anger, and control it before it explodes. The extra step is to manage to avoid the triggers. Whether it’s a place, a person, or a situation that upsets you, you have the power to say no. You won’t go to that place, you won’t see that person, you won’t put yourself in that situation. This is called an avoidance strategy. But if, despite everything, you have to undergo one of these risky situations, share what causes this anger with a trusted person, who can help you with kind words, or by changing your mind.
As you can see, to conclude, anger is not inevitable. Before it arrives and overwhelms you, and makes you talk or do stupid things, you can avoid it, because it will, more often than not, only bring you trouble. But for that, it is important to eliminate or avoid what triggers it , and if not, to evacuate regularly, before the vase fills up and overflows!
