I don’t have an orgasm, is that normal?
Don’t worry: if you feel concerned by the title of this article, you should know that there is nothing to be ashamed of and that the answer to the question is… yes. If you think you don’t know what orgasm is, you are not abnormal.
First and foremost, anorgasmia, the scientific name given to the absence of orgasm, is mainly found in women for an obvious reason: in men, orgasm almost always accompanies ejaculation! Occasionally, a man can ejaculate without experiencing an orgasm, but this is exceptional.
Female orgasm, a complex mechanism
In women, achieving orgasm is on the other hand much more complex and some women sometimes discover after years of sexual life, often while talking with friends, that they have never really experienced an orgasm.
Warning: lack of orgasm does not mean lack of pleasure during sex! Even less, absence of desire. Simply, the woman does not reach the top, the famous “little death”, this almost fainting characteristic of orgasm, these disordered body movements even spasms, moans or uncontrollable cries, followed by a wave of good -being and fullness caused by the accompanying hormonal discharge.
If you don’t feel any of the above, then you are probably missing an orgasm.
To reach orgasm, you have to know your body
So why ? There are plenty of answers to this, but the main and first of them is surely the ignorance of one’s body and the mechanisms that cause pleasure and lead, if all goes well, to orgasm.
Many women discover orgasm with a more attentive partner than those they have known so far, a partner who makes them discover their body and leads them to orgasm, because he thinks of their pleasure before thinking at his own pleasure.
Masturbation: orgasm almost every time
Other women discover orgasm by learning to masturbate. Some studies also claim that women who masturbate achieve orgasm almost every time, when it only occurs in 20 to 30% of cases during conventional sexual relations.
We must also speak here of the vaginal orgasm, as opposed to the clitoral orgasm. The first is rarer and more difficult to achieve, while the second is triggered more easily, from the moment the woman, or her partner, has understood how to stimulate the clitoris until the final orgasm. Articles, studies, claim that some women are “only” clitoral”, but they are regularly beaten by other studies, which argue that this is in fact not inevitable.
And love in all this? This is obviously a major factor to take into account. A woman in love will more easily manage to let go, to give herself, to trust her partner, and will therefore reach orgasm more easily. But conversely, for some, orgasm does not depend on the feelings they feel for their partner, but much more on the context, including the transgression of certain taboos, which can stimulate their libido and lead them to Orgasm.
Stress, fatigue, fear, so many obstacles on the road to orgasm
Conversely, stress, fatigue, fear of pain, shame about her body or sex, are all obstacles that can prevent a woman from being psychologically in good condition to reach orgasm. .
In conclusion, if you think you don’t know orgasm, or have trouble achieving it, don’t despair! By getting to know your body, by letting go, by masturbating or with a caring and skilful partner, orgasm is within your reach… And who knows? Maybe you can then become a multi-orgasmic woman?